WTF 7

Sticker bombed


We all should have heard the term 'sticker bomb' which is when someone takes a crazy sticker with cartoons and plenty of colours and wraps a panel on their car with it.  However the sticker craze doesn't just stop there, you can now get stickers that mimic matt paint, or even different colours of Carbon Fibre.

Here comes the problem with this stuff, people think that these stickers look like real carbon fibre an wrap their hoods or other panels of the car.   What happens when you get someone who doesn't know where the start and end of one panel is? they wrap half the car in no particular sequence trying to make shapes that don't exist.

On top of this they don't even use a carbon fibre imitation sticker, they end up using a sticker that looks like the finished product of their child's first geography compass experience. At Least he made the the lines of the car stand out more.

WTF 6

Pipe dreams exist

Exhausts come in or sorts of sizes, lengths and thickness, it all depends on the driver.  One thing that im sure many drivers experience is the black mark created on your rear bumper from the exhaust smoke and gasses. As well as the new fad at the moment is to smoke out your rear lights and make them black.  I found a person who created a DIY way to not only get rid of that black mark on the bumper but smoke out your tail lights at the same time.

This is how you do it: first you need to have a custom exhaust pipe made for you car, then you need to add an extension pipe to the end of your exhaust and bend it facing upwards towards your lights. now all you need to do is drive around and over time you will begin to smoke out your lights. Another positive about this type of exhaust is that when you wear out your rings, you can see the white smoke in your rear window.  This could save you alot of money due to the early detection.

If you happen to have extra pipe left over from your extended exhaust you can build clothing dryers. When you go down to the beach and you get back to your car and your clothes are wet, why not lay them over the clothes dryer allowing it to get direct sunlight and dry by the time you get home. Im always amazed at the innovativeness that some people have.

WTF 5

Lets just wing it

So I saw this car the other day and thought 'WOW' someone has taken the time to modify their car in order to assist their grandparents and still look cool.  Old people get to a point where they need assistance walking, the solution to this problem is a BANISTER.  Your grandparents can now get around the car with out your help, the problem is banisters don't look cool on a car.  So you colour coded it to your bumper.

When your car only has one set of indicators be aware that people still might not be able to see what your intentions are, so once again a genius solution would be to add another set of indicators onto the side of the car.  This upgrade also allows you to see if your indicators are working by looking through the side mirrors at your lights.  This upgrade might be an indication of this persons driving skills or shoddy electrical work in the car.

After doing all these upgrades to your car, you might want to ensure that you get a strong signal for the radio.  This will require a big ass antenna that should be attached to the front bumper of your car. Its important to place thee antenna in the front of the car so that it will not be damaged if you are ever in an accident.  Clearly that extra set of indicators don't work as this person still got into an accident, hitting the side of the front bumpers.  However not to worry, when this happens use cable ties to stitch the damage up with surgical precision and you can make it look cool by using various coloured cable ties.  I wonder if this person gives free quotes.

WTF 4

Why not catch some sun

I thought i would kick the first day of spring with a post that involves the sun.  I found a person who owns a single cab Nissan hard body, this person wanted a few up grades to show off during the summer months ahead. 

You would probably add items to your bakkie like maybe a big set of 22 inch rims, a big ass sound system or a sick paint job. The correct answer is a sunroof, but what happens when you are in a single cab bakkie, no one in the back can look cool and enjoy the breeze.  The solution to this obvious problem would be to put 2 more sunroofs in the canopy roof.  Why not have 3 sunroofs on one bakkie if you have the space.  Its not like you can take the canopy off or anything.

Now you cant stop there, this bakkie is not cool enough yet, there is just something missing.  Oh that's right you forgot the wing on the canopy roof, this allows for the wind to hit the wing and direct the air flow straight into the sunroof opening.  This wasn't what i had in mind when i asked if he had a cold air induction kit or roof fins.

MSA Drags August 2014

It started with comps to Killarney and ended with immense amounts of power from all the cars participating. There was a big rivalry between the guys from PE and Cape Town, as they went head to head on the track. With cars like supercharged type R Hondas, V8 Fords, Subaru STIs and Audi S lines, the day was loud smokey and entertaining.

Early this morning the drags started, with everyone warming up to not only beat their opponent but post the best time too.  there were a few cars posting just over 12 seconds ranging from Audi RS4s to Mk 1 golfs, this made for some interesting pairing and results.  I witnessed Opel Corsa B shapes beating Subaru STIs, Honda type Rs beating Audi RS4s, and Ford Cortinas absolutely thrashing everything it went up against. With tensions high and hundreds of horsepower there was bound to be a few mistakes, I saw a Nissan Champ bakkie pile into the wall right at the starting block while warming up his tyres as well as prop shafts breaking and cars having to be towed and this was all at the start line and a few cars experiencing problems on the starting block and having to be pushed away.  The fastest time was 10.5seconds posted by the Speed & Sound Ford Escort.

The vibe was great, with people tail gating in the parking lot, braais,drinks and people showing off their cars. Some might have tried a little to hard for instance, trying to handbrake turn and knocking out 2 polls along the entrance of the race track.  There were a few unusual cars seen too, like an 80s Toyota Supra, a couple of Nissan R32 GTRs and an Uno Turbo.  All the cars had plenty of power and provided the crowd with what they paid to see, cars, wheel spinning, revving, backfiring and dragging.  There was also go carting and motorbike racing on the small circuit where young racers show the crowd that its not always easy to drive a go cart or a motorbike when you  driving the speeds they do.

Overall it was a fantastic day and the crowd thoroughly enjoyed it, With better marketing and multiple events on the same day these track events could grow so much larger.  Thank you too Killarney race track for hosting this event and we look forward to more in the future.  

WTF 3

Going Green

We are in the era where everyone is going green, I found someone who has accomplished this.  Not only has this person gone green but they modified their car at the same time.  So I have taken the liberty of outlining some steps you can take to achieve the same thing.  Firstly you need to have your car sprayed the greenest green you can find, then neglect the paint until its faded cause we all know that faded paint is exactly the same as matte paint.  Secondly you want to go to your local china town and get the smallest rear wing you can find, this is done so there is a large contrast between the size of the wing and the size of your car.

Thirdly you need to have the rear wing painted black in order to imitate a carbon fiber look.  After this you want to paint your mags black with some shoe polish in order to match the wing and the door rubbers, this way you can get a colour scheme going on your car.  If you would like a graphic on the side of your car, you can pour a little recycled house white paint on the car.  It always looks cool to have that "im trying but im not really trying to make my car look cool".

The most important thing to remember about this process is to have a tow bar equipped and do not attach any lips, skirts or body kits.  Nothing screams modified car like functionality and a complete lack of modifications.

WTF 2

This is how we roll

The 1989 Opel Kadett 1.4 with a staggering 44 kw at the front wheels and a 0 to 100 km/h time of 15 seconds.  Lets just round that number down and call this a 10 second car and with its top speed of 130 km/h its inevitable that at some point this car will roll over. Not many people know this but there are some safety extras you can add to this car, like a roll cage or a headrest roll bar.  I found some one who was smart enough to fit a headrest roll bar to his Kadett.  As you can see by the image below he even took into consideration the passengers.

So this person has done this safety modification in the safest way possible, if you know anything about car and safety.  Its very important to attach the headrest roll bars to the most sturdy part of the car, which in this case is the wooden head board.  This person needed more flexibility during a roll so he opted to leave the screws and instead just used very strong super glue. This person was very accurate when getting the headrest roll bars in the right position, the rule of thumb is always use the lines on your seat covers.  

So if you want to be extra safe on while flying down the road in you 1400 Opel Kadett be sure to fit your safety parts on the right way, otherwise you could end up looking stupid.

WTF 1

So we have all gotten a car at some point in our lives that we decide we are going to modify or "improve" it. The question is do you really know what you doing and are you actually making your car better.  I have started a new segment on my blog that will look at the ridiculous things some people do to their cars. As you can see in these pictures, we have a VW Velociti, probably a 1600 with a wing on the back.  This is not like those show wings you put on your car to make it look nice, this is a racing wing.  This person thinks there little 1600 Golf is going to be going so fast that its going to need all the down force it can get.  This makes cracks me up cause first of all its a little Golf, secondly its only a 1600 and lastly if you ever did get fast enough to use the wing it would probably come off the car due to those cheap ass screws you used from your grannies garage.  you not going to be driving at 300km/h more like 160km/h on a downhill, but never the less this person decided it was a good idea. 

In this picture is the same car however, if you look at the rear lights you will notice a strip of LED lights. Now these are not the LED's you will find on an Audi or Mercedes, these are the cheap lights you buy at china town for around R50.  Now i don't mind a cheap mod every now and then if it looks good, but really half of the LEDs aren't even working and the strips were put on skew.  People if you going to put extra lights on your car to make it look 'cool' at least do a good job, maybe they were driving so fast that the down force from the wing almost blew the lights off and now they skew haha.

2013 Ford focus ST

The new Ford Focus is now out and what’s even better is its availability in the ST model.  Sporty styling? Check.  Turbo? Check. Smiles? Well that’s Guaranteed.  Following up on the success of the last generation Focus St, there was a lot to live up to, in terms of its looks and performance.  I think Ford did a great job with the 2013 Focus worthy of that ST badge. At first I didn't agree with the exterior styling with that big front grill, but after taking a closer look and driving it I have a new perception of it.  The rugged grill acts as a muzzle trying to silence this incredible machine.

The Focus St was a pleasure to drive, as it was quiet and relatively smooth, especially for a sports car.  This means that it can also serve as a family car for taking the kids to school, and an after school toy for the grown-ups too.  The 2Litre Eco boost turbo-charged engine with 184kw of power will make sure you have plenty of fun with this car.  Put your foot down and it will immediately silence the humdrum sounds of reality.  The turbo kicks in, and a sensual growling comes from within the engine and out of the unique exhaust (which looked like it belonged to a flame thrower).

Focus, in the literal sense is a necessity for driving this car.  Blink, and you might just end up hitting the top speeds in no time.  But who could blame you if you did, as you sit back and relax in the most comfortable sports car seats I’ve ever experienced.

As much as I like the car, there were however a few faults I found, which were oddly enough all located in the interior.  The center console and radio system needed more contrast from the rest of the car, as its features hid among the dash board.  The gear lever was a little too far from the driver, which can be irritating during any long or short journey.  However, the new Focus ST has a lot more to like than to dislike, especially with its price at around R318 000, it’s actually more affordable and has a greater output of power than it’s Golf GTI competitor.

Subaru Imprezza WRX,

World rally cross or WRX letters that motor enthusiasts love to see on a car that symbolizes power.  With so many vents and scoops on the car, it creates the feeling that you being sucked into the cockpit.  This Subaru is a pleasure to look at, with almost life like qualities resembling that of a Japanese dragon.  With its back scoops and lines, intimidating front head lights like a wild eyed beast and amazing bonnet scoop, acting like the nostrils of a dragon.

So how did it feel driving this dragon you ask?  For a start the cockpit is very quiet, however this is just a misleading tactic. After cruising for a little and enjoying the smooth ride of this beast, I put my foot down an unleashed the true power of the WRX.  You hear the turbo ‘spool’ and then that front “nostril” sucks in great amounts of air.  This is in order for that incredible 2.5litre turbocharged engine to push the ‘fire power’ of this dragon out the tailpipes.  It was like sitting in the world’s most comfortable rocket. Taking the corners was just as fun as it hugged the road with its claw like grip.  It has its all-wheel drive system to thank for this.  There is no doubt that there is more than enough power for anyone to have some fun with this car, especially with that famous Subaru engine sound.

However the interior of the WRX was nothing special. The bucket racing seats were stylish and comfortable but I just expected more from the belly of the beast.  It seemed very boring instead of sporty and creative, but I suppose when you buy this car it’s more for the external styling and the power.

Unfortunately there were some faults on the car.  The wheels were way too small for such a bulky car and such wide wheel arches.  The brakes were the next let down; although I’m sure that they are ample to stop the Subaru, they just didn't seem very responsive initially. I had to really push them before getting actual stopping power.  The price of the WRX is not the prettiest, and although this is a Subaru WRX, one of the most well-known names in motor sport, I just don’t think it’s worth it. It’s currently in a very high price bracket, and unless something changes, this will no longer be known as an amazing toy but a sophisticated trophy. 

Volkswagen Scirocco R

The all new Volkswagen Scirocco R recently landed in South Africa and I decided to take the DSG for a spin.  Taking a look around the exterior of the car, it’s so dam sexy, and it reminded me of what it was like the first time I realized I was attracted to girls, while not knowing how control those urges.  Everything about it is sporty and robust, including the amazing panoramic sunroof that spans over the entire width of the car.  It looked good in white, but I’d prefer it in its distinctive midnight blue.

 Just starting the engine was fun. Hearing that deep roar got my feet all ‘trigger happy on the throttle.  At high speeds, I could hear the difference between the jet-like sound in the front (thanks to the turbo whistle), and Bruce Banner going all Hulk in the back. The drive was exceptionally smooth and the steering was quite responsive as well.  I cautiously pushed the accelerator down, sensed a short pause, and then suddenly, it felt as if my old man had given me a massive whack and the power launched me forward. It could almost be overwhelming for the average driver, but it’s worth the risk. 

There’s never a dull moment while driving the Scirocco R. Unfortunately, even after driving it, you’ll feel like you’ve had a head-on collision when you see the price. With only 15kW more than the GTI, it doesn’t account for the whopping price difference of +/-R44 600. 

 While the sporty semi-bucket racing seats cradle your body, you need to take a moment to admire the well-furnished leather interior.  Even though it’s only a two door car, there’s still plenty of space for the family or friends (or whatever else you might want to do in the back). It’s definitely one of the larger hatchbacks out there.

With a slightly acquired taste in its distinctive styling, the Scirocco R sets itself apart from other competing turbo hatchbacks. Besides the all other pros, and even with its unjustified pricing, it’s probably the appearing exclusivity that would be a selling point for this car. It’s the same reason why you’d buy a VIP ticket to a concert; so you can look down on everyone and know that only a few people are as fortunate as you.

 

2012 Toyota 86

I recently had the pleasure of test driving the all-new 2012 Toyota 86 in Cape Town.  At first glance, this car is absolutely gorgeous. It’s like a woman on the outside and once you open her up she makes your manly parts tingle even more.  Most of the exterior looks quite sporty, with fierce lines running down the hood and mouth, giving that vicious edge. There were only two draw backs of the outside of the car, one of them being the 16" wheels with an optional upgrade to 17". Proportionally these seem way too small for a sports car like this.  Toyota should’ve been looking at nothing less than an 18" for that vehicle, if not to make it look better than at least for some extra traction.  The other problem I found was the actual "86" emblem on the side of the car.  To me this just looked like a cheap piece of plastic that was stuck on the car at the last minute.

                                          The interior was comfortable and neat but lacked the toys and gadgets that a driver looks for in a sports car.  With no Sat Nav and no cool looking buttons I found myself disappointed, especially considering Toyota’s marketing campaign telling me to “go play” in their “playground”.  Honestly, even holding the steering wheel was like holding a heavily stuffed bra; feels great but you know there’s not much to play with. 

Right now Toyota has only released a 2 liter, 16 valve, DOCH boxer- engine with a six speed manual or automatic gearbox option.  This means it will only push out 144kw @ 7000r/min, letting it reach speeds of just over 220km/h (140mp/h).  Where is the turbo version Toyota? In terms of new Toyota turbo sports car, an 86 turbo could have easily replaced the Supra.

With a nearly perfect front to rear weight distribution of 53:47 and its powerful boxer engine giving all its power to the rear tires.  It makes for handling experience like no other and is a lot of fun, especially if you want to try some drifting. With a 0-100km/h time of 7.6 seconds it falls just short of it turbo charged competitors the Golf GTI and the Ford Focus.

With the Toyota starting at R298 500, the GTI's starting price is R43 400 more expensive and you only get 11kw more power.  In terms of what you are getting and what you are paying for I would take the Toyota, I think this was the most highly anticipated car of 2012 and Toyota have done a great job.